Angels
Theme: This sketch can be performed by 2 people, though non-speaking actors can be employed as other angels 'getting ready'. The sketch tells the story of the announcement tothe shepherds from the angels' point of view.
Staging: I envisage the angels as pilots about to go on a mission. Perhaps they practice flapping their wings, there might be a map on the wall showing the plan for the night, or a picture identifying the difference between a shepherd and a sheep.
Angels
Two angels, already dressed in white robes and wings, are adding goggles, flying caps, and gloves to their apparel. As he dons his gloves, angel 1 turns to angel 2..
ANGEL 1:Ready?
ANGEL 2: (a bit nervous) Yea, I think so.
ANGEL 1:Sure?
ANGEL 2:(brightening) Yea.
ANGEL 1:Got your announcement ready?
ANGEL 2:(suddenly nervous again) Errr! I don't know what I'm going to say.
ANGEL 1:You've not written it?
ANGEL 2:Honestly, I was up all night, thinking what to say, and
ANGEL 1:Well just tell them. "Come on lads, come with me, I've got something I need to show you."
ANGEL 2:Well, that's not going to work is it?
Auction
Theme: It's easy to kid ourselves that we are responsible with our money. This sketch challenges that idea with a sharp reminder at the end.
Staging: You can stage this with the auctioneer in the pulpit, or behind a desk. But make sure you create a big enough painting for your audience to see, and make sure it is terrible!.
Auction
An auctioneer stands behind a podium.
A'neer:
Thankyou ladies and gentlemen. The next item on auction is a series of four paintings by the rising star of the Latvian Infantist movement.
Two assistants walk on carrying a large canvas with a truly rubbish series of splodges and squirts, and they hold it in the portrait style for the audience to view.
A'neer:
The first painting in the series is this exquisite "Mother and child", which many believe to feature a self portrait of the artist. Then we have "Man fighting polar bear."
The assistants turn the painting through 90 degrees.
A'neer:
"Donkey licking a stick".
The assistants turn the painting through a further 90 degrees, so that the original is upside down.
A'neer:
And finally,
The assistants turn the painting again.
A'neer:
"Two camels on a motorbike." So, I can tell you that I've already got a telephone bid with me, so I'll start the bidding at fifty thousand. So.
Denial
Theme: This sketch is about Peter's denial of Christ, not so much about why he did it, but relating the fact that he did it. It is just another way of telling a familiar story, from the perspective of Mark who claims to be someone who challenged him.
Staging: The staging here is very simple. Biblical dress might help set the scene, but if you don't have it, just have someone explain that the sketch is set in the marketplace, just after Jesus has been arrested.....
Denial
Two guys in biblical dress meet up.
MARK:
Hi, Joshua! How's things?
JOSHUA: They're ok..
MARK:
Great! Hey, you'll never guess who I saw today.
.
JOSHUA:
I don't suppose I will.
MARK:
Go on then.
JOSHUA:
Go on then what?
MARK:
Have a guess.
JOSHUA:
What's the point of that?
Fishers of men
Theme: In Matthew's version of events, Jesus goes up to James and John while they're mending their nets, and recruits them. Just like that! Even if it really was that simple, the event must have had an impact on the other fishermen - and we cannot presume it was positive. In this sketch the fisherman express their shock, and surprise, at what has gone on.
Staging: Somehow, you need to find some fish for this sketch, but obviously, you won't want to use real fish!! Perhaps some stockings filled with balls of newspaper will do the trick, or maybe your local joke shop can help?
Fishers of men
Isaac, Zebedee and Abram enter the stage dressed in trawlerman's clothes if possible, or otherwise in fishermen's wellies and so'wester hats. At the back of the stage will be a crate of 'fish' hidden from the audience.
Zebedee:
Right guys, let's get them fish off the boat.
They line up so that Isaac is backstage with the fish, Zebedee in the middle, and Abram front stage close to the audience.
Isaac:
Zebedee, coming one!
As he calls, Isaac throws a fish to Zebedee, which he catches.
Zebedee:
Got it! Abram, coming one!
As Zebedee calls he throws the fish to Abram.
Abram:
Got it. James, coming one.
Abram throws the fish out into the audience and waits for the shout from James. Meanwhile, Isaac, has started again.
Isaac:
Zebedee, coming one!
As he calls, Isaac throws a fish to Zebedee, which he catches.
Zebedee:
Got it! Abram, coming one!
Guest
Theme: What did the other guests at the inn make of the events on the night that Jesus was born? Did they realise something significant was happening or did they just let it pass them by? After all, even they must have noticed the star and all the shepherds turning up?
Staging: With a desk and a uniform it should be easy to create the idea of a hotel reception. If you can have a bell on the counter, and some keys on a rack behind the desk, so much the better. You'll only perform this sketch at Christmas, so no real need to dress for the part, though you might like someone to introduce the fact that it is set 2000 years ago.
Guest
Hotel receptionist stands behind the desk. A man enters carrying his suitcase.
RECEP'IST:
Good morning sir?
Man:
I'd like to check out please.
RECEP'IST:
Certainly sir. Did you have anything from the mini-bar?
Man:
Mini-bar! What mini-bar?
RECEP'IST:
There was a flask of stale water in the corner by the pile of seeds.
Man:
There was broken bottle, a damp patch, and I didn't even see any seeds.
RECEP'IST:
Ah! Perhaps the chickens got there before you. They do that sometimes.
Man:
Perhaps.
RECEP'IST:
(brightly) So, apart from that, everything alright with your stay sir?
Man:
Not really no.
RECEP'IST:
I'm sorry to hear that sir. What was the problem?
Man:
Pretty well everything.
Hide'n'seek
Theme: Sometimes it can feel like God is nowhere to be found. And sometimes other Christians (deliberately or otherwise) can make us feel guilty or stupid for admitting that we feel the absence of God more keenly than His presence. But the old testament prophets felt it too, and perhaps we need to accept that sometimes, God hides.
Staging: No staging is required.
Hide'n'seek
Gill comes to centre stage and stands with eyes closed. She counts aloud.
DEREK:
Ok. Are you counting anything in particular?
GILL:
I'm playing hide and seek.. With God.
Menu
Theme: Many of us find it hard to understand, or even read, the laws in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. This sketch attempts to open up the book of Leviticus just a little by wondering how a little restaurant might have coped with the new rules on unclean foods just after they were introduced. It is intended as way to lighten the load of reading all the does and don'ts of the law, so that people might be encouraged to take a closer look at these books and not to simply ignore them.
Staging: A table with a white cloth will suggest the restaurant, especially if the waiter is dressed with bow tie and waistcoat, or even just a pinafore.
Menu
A man sits at a table with a menu. The waiter approaches.
Waiter:
Afternoon sir. Are you ready to order?
Man:
Yes. I think I'll have the pork chops please.
Waiter:
Ah
Man:
Problem?
Waiter:
Pork chops are off sir.
Man:
Ok, well, the pork tenderloin with apple sauce.
Waiter:
. right, ok. .. erm..
Man:
Is that off too?
Waiter:
Not exactly.
Man:
So .?
Waiter:
There's just a slight variation to the menu.
Man:
Which is?
Waiter:
It's just apple sauce.
Suffering
Theme: Everyone has asked the question, why does God allow suffering? This sketch does not claim to have the right answer, or the only answer, but it might help others to find answers for themselves, and at least to realise that suffering is not a reason to hate God or to deny that God exists.
Staging:The actors will reveal a cros at the end of this sketch, though it need not be life sized. However, they will have to work with some tools and a portable workbench, as well as some light pieces of wood.
Suffering
Simon is hammering a nail into a piece of wood. James looks over his shoulder as Simon hammers, bang, bang, bang! The third time Simon hits his thumb.
Simon: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Simon must exaggerate his pain in a comical way for maximum laughs from the audience.
James: What happened there?
Simon: You're kidding!?
James: No.
Simon: I hit my flipping thumb didn't I?
James: (Barely disguising a snigger) Right.
Simon:
Ow it hurts. Ow. Ow. Why? Why does God allow suffering?
James: (indicating congregation) Well they seemed to enjoy it.
Tomb
Theme: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John all record slightly different accounts of how the tomb was found empty on that first Easter morning. These different accounts suggest different narratives from different sources none of whom were exactly sure what happened that morning (because they were not there!). So it is with modern news stories, that the reporter has to get information from different, sometimes conflicting sources, so this sketch puts the Easter story into a modern setting of a news report going out live from the scene.
Staging: The news reader should sit to one side of the stage, and his live reporter should stand to the other, perhaps with finger in ear as if listening to an ear phone?
Tomb
A newsreader sits at a desk. Someway distant, Levi, a reporter is waiting patiently.
Reader:
Good evening, and welcome to the news. Today's headlines in Jerusalem. The body of the rabbi Jesus has disappeared from the tomb. Three days after his crucifixion, followers of the teacher are saying this is proof of his claim to be the Son of God. Levi Abram is at the scene for us now. Levi, what can you tell us?
Levi:
Well Joseph. Two remarkable things have happened this morning. Firstly, it does appear from reports that Jesus has indeed risen from the dead and left his tomb. The details are a little sketchy at the moment, but eye witnesses tell me that this morning, two women came to pay their respects and they were the first people to realise the tomb was empty. Despite there being guards around the tomb, I've had a look myself, and it is definitely the case that the body of Jesus is no longer there.
Training
Theme: We do not know exactly what the inn would have been like, but we can be sure it was basic. But in this sketch, we find a different way to relate the events of that first Christmas, by imagining that the inn was part of a massive hotel chain, whose staff need a little re-training after senior management find out all of the strange things that took place when mary and Joseph arrived.
Staging:The trainer needs a pre-prepared flip-chart, and will address the congregation as if they are the hotel managers who are receiving th training.
Training
Trainer stands in front of a flip chart.
Trainer:
Ok, everybody, thank you for attending this refresher training course. As you know, the Nazareth Hilton chain of hotels takes its customer care very seriously, and after last week's.. "incident".. we thought it would be worth going over a few of the basics with our managers. Now, we're not pointing the finger at anybody in particular from the Bethlehem Inn, we're simply going over company policy to avoid any future confusion. So, let's start if we can with a simple observation round.
She turns over the flipchart. A stick man and stick woman are drawn on.
Trainer:
Can anyone tell me what this is? That's right. It's a husband and wife. You can tell they're husband and wife because they are almost in touching distance, which is quite enough public affection as far as I'm concerned. Right, now, what if she looks like this?
Wise Men at Easter
Theme: We have no idea if the wise men who visited Jesus shortly after his birth took any further notice of his life and his actions. But the characters of the wise men are so familiar to those people in the congregation who only come at Christmas and Easter that they might be useful story tellers when it comes to noting the significance of the Easter story. Without being 'preachy' two of the wise men meet up again by chance and discuss what has happened to Jesus since the last time they met.
Staging: Dressing the kings as if for the nativity play will make them instantly recognisable. Find a way to have them meet by chance. I envisaged a clash of shopping trolleys, but you might prefer golf trolleys, or sports bags, or flat-pack furniture boxes......?
Wise Men at Easter
Two wisemen enter from opposite sides of the stage, pushing supermarket trolleys.
Wiseman1:
Ah! Belthesazar. What a surprise! How good to see you again. It has been so long.
Wiseman2:
So long.. that I'm not entirely sure who you are.
Wiseman1:
We were two of the three wise men. remember?
Wiseman2:
That was ages ago. Thirty years or more.
Wiseman1:
I know, I know. So how has life been treating you since we embarked on our great adventure? Are you still a wiseman?
Wiseman2:
Well, I'm not as quick as I used to be. I can never seem to find the right er the right.erm, the right..
Wiseman1:
words?
Wiseman2:
Exactly. But to be honest, there's not much call for wise men these days is there? So I now run a little bed and breakfast with the missus.
Woman the the well
Theme: The story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well is significant for many reasons. At a human level, it is remarkable for the fact that he even speaks to a Samaritan woman. But Jesus also promises to give her living water, declares himself as the Messiah, and says some startling things about worship. Whether she understood everything he said, we don't know, but we do know her account of the meeting persuaded many to believe, and many others to go seek Jesus out for themselves. (I've called the woman Martha in this sketch, but of course, we do not know her name. If it bothers do, don't use the name!)
Staging: Although set in New Testament times, the women in this sketch don't need to dress up. They might carry shopping bags as modern equivalents of the vessels used to collect water from the well.
Woman at the well
A group of at least 3 women are chatting together. Martha rushes on from off stage.
Martha:Girls, girls, guess what?
Woman1:
What?
Martha:
I have just had an encounter with the most incredible man you've ever seen.
Woman1:
Oh no Martha, not again!
Martha:No. No!
Woman2:
Every Saturday the same old story.
Woman1:Who was it this time? Joshua, the farmer's son? John the net-maker?
Martha:No. I don't mean that kind of encounter. This was at the well.
