3 Kings
Theme: This sketch can be performed by 3 men although there's no reason why one of the kings couldn't be played by a woman. It's a sketch that acknowledges how the gifts of the three kings signal the significance of the life and death that Jesus will lead.
Staging: The kings should be dressed in regal gear, but clearly be about to set off for their journey. Consider the comic potential of one of them having a suitcase, being dressed for the beach, sun-hats and so on.
3 Kings
The three Kings enter from different sides of the stage.
KING 1:Right, is everybody ready?
KING 2:Yea.
KING 1:Got your camels?.
KING 2:Yea.
KING 1:Packed your swimming trunks?
KING 2:What?
KING 1:Well you never know.
KING 2:Dash it!
KING 3:You can borrow mine.
KING 2:Thanks.
Ananias
Theme: The story of Ananias and Sapphira is uncomfortable. Is it about failing to give everything we have, or is it about what happens when we lie to God? And what were the consequences for Ananias and Sapphira themselves? Their death might seem like a punishment, but is that the message we're supposed to take from the story? A useful sketch to offer a perspective on this familiar passage.
Staging: Do not worry about Biblical dress. It's probably best to treat the couple as well-to-do and modern so that the contemporary audience identifies with them more.
Ananias
Ananias sits on a chair with his head in his hands. He doesnt
notice as from behind him, Sapphira enters. She looks about
herself in bewilderment and notices Ananias
SAPPHIRA:
Ananias, is that you?
ANANIAS:
Sapphira! Where the heck have you been?
SAPPHIRA:
Shopping.
ANANIAS:
I might have known. What for this time?
SAPPHIRA:
I told you. I wanted to use a little bit of money
from that field we sold to buy a new pair of
sandals.
ANANIAS: More flipping sandals. How many pairs of
sandals can one woman need?
SAPPHIRA:
About fifty.
Australia
Theme: This sketch is all about the (pointless) theoretical arguments we have when trying to convince others that God exists, as Greg tries to convince Jim of the existence of Australia. Of course, there is no argument that will please everyone, and this sketch could be used both as an encouragement to those who have lost the argument, and a reprimand to those who think the argument has always to be won. Faith, evangelism and Christianity are not about winning an argument with an unbeliever.
Staging: The staging here is very simple. The two men should carry drinks and be dressed as if at a party or barbecue.
Australia
Two men come together with drinks in their hands. After a
couple of nervous glances at each other, Greg plucks up
courage to speak. He has an Australian accent. Jim has an
English accent.
GREG:
Gday.
JIM: Hello.
GREG:
Nice barbie.
JIM:
Very pleasant.
GREG:
Greg, by the way.
JIM:
J im.
GREG:
Good to meet you Jim. Know many people here?
JIM:
No, not really. You?
Bushel
Theme: We are told that we should not hide our light under a bushel. When you think about it, it's obvious that we should not, but sometimes we still do.. as estate agent Sally finds out when she looks round the home of Fred.
Staging: It would be good to play this sketch in very dim light, relying on the actor's voices to paint pictures with the audience. If it is staged in bright light, make sure your actors feel their way around stage and peer into the darkness so that the idea of no lights is conveyed.
Bushel
Fred and Sally enter together. Sally is looking about her and
taking notes in a big folder.
Fred:
So, as you can see, this is the sitting room.
Sally:
Big room.
Fred:
Its a very big room. Too big now that the kids
have left home.
Sally:
Is that why youre selling?
Fred:
One reason. Anyway, were leaving the carpets.
Were leaving the curtains. In fact everything you
can see except the furniture.
Sally:
(Peering ahead) And that?
Fred:
Thats the mother in law.
Sally:
Oh Im sorry, its just a bit dark. I couldnt make
her out.
Fair
Theme: A good sketch for Christian Aid Week or some other service focused on third world problems and the disparity between rich and poor. It speaks for itself.
Staging: The three women in the sketch can stand in a line, going from tallest to smallest (and richest to poorest). Older members of the congregation will remember a famous TV sketch about class, and this sketch deliberately echoes that theme.
Fair
Three women come onto the stage. Woman 1 looks very posh
and well dressed. Woman 2 looks very average. Woman 3,
should dress very plainly to represent poverty.
Woman 1:
I'm an old lady, and I'm disgusted at the cost of
electricity.
Woman 2:
I'm an old lady, and I'm disgusted at the price of
food.
Woman 3:
I'm an old lady, and I work to grow food for those
two. I don't care about the price of electricity
because I've never had it.
Woman 1:
This year, I took my annual trip to America, and
had to pay a £60 surcharge on my airfare.
Woman 2:
This year, I had my usual week up in Edinburgh,
and the hotel cost me £60 more than last year.
Woman 3:
This year, I'll earn less than £60 and I've never
had a holiday.
God's Grace
Theme: We have all been saved only by the Grace of God. It is not dependent on how much work we've done, or even how much good work we are going to do. Grace is freely given, at the moment we become a Christian. It can't be earned or returned. But whether we really understand this is open to debate. After all, in what other circumstance do we receive the whole reward before we do anything else..?
Staging: Try to make your scene as industrial as possible, and Stewart should dress in overalls. The boss should simply dress smartly.
Full pay
A man stands in overalls waiting. He has a tool box. Enter his
boss hurriedly, wearing smart suit and tie. He carries a clip
board.
BOSS:
Oh, sorry I'm a bit late for our meeting (checking
clipboard). Stewart. On your first day as well.
What must you think? I'm afraid I got held up by
the ball bearings.
STEWART:
Sounds painful.
BOSS:
No normal wear and tear. Nothing too serious.
But that's why we need an extra man on the
maintenance team. So I'm delighted to welcome
you on as the latest recruit to Grace and Grace.
STEWART:
Glad to be here Mr Grace. There's not much work
round here these days.
BOSS:
Right, so we'll just get the induction over with,
and then we'll get you started.
STEWART:
Right you are.
BOSS:
So, first things first. (He pulls a big packet from
under the clipboard) There's your wages.
STEWART:
What?
Fiery Furnace
Theme: The story of the fiery furnace is well known from Daniel, but when you read it, it's written in a very comical way. This sketch simply retells the story, but do so in a way that plays up the comedy of the literature, without demeaning the story.
Staging: The two characters could be dressed in Biblical clothes to help suggest they are from that time.
Furnace
Benjamin and Ephraim walk on stage together chatting.
BENJAMIN:
So I said, "How do you like your camels?" And
he said, "I don't care so long as they're sweet."
So I said, "Does that mean one hump or two?"
(He falls about laughing).
EPHRAIM:
Sorry, did I miss something?
BENJAMIN:
One hump or two.. Like sugar, one hump or
A blast of music from a member of the music group prompts
Benjamin to throw himself to the floor in an act of worship..
EPHRAIM:
Whoa, whoa whoa. What are you doing?
BENJAMIN:
Get down. Get down.
EPHRAIM:
No.
BENJAMIN:
King Nebuchadnezzar will kill you.
EPHRAIM:
No Benjamin. Benjamin, no. Haven't you heard?
BENJAMIN:
You'll be thrown into the blazing furnace.
EPHRAIM:
No Benjamin. That's all changed.
Sin II
Theme: This sketch is challenging but could raise some debate (as well as some hackles). I would suggest however, since it appears to deal with issues of homosexuality that it is handled with care. But then, all our dealings with our fellow Christians should be handled with care, and ultimately this sketch is not about homosexuality at all. It's about how we address the topic of sin with each other, how we judge the sins of others compared to ourselves, and how really, as we are told, we should take the plank out of our own eyes before we try to take the splinter from the eye of someone else.
Staging: Requires an informal, after church setting, allowing a chance encounter between Jim and Ben. .
Sin
Ben is on stage drinking a cup of coffee. Jim approaches
cautiously.
JIM: Ben, can I talk to you about sin?
BEN: Oh dear, what have you done now?
JIM: No, its not me!. Its you.. and Steve.. erm
I noticed .. er.. I want you to know that I
mean its not my .its in the Bible..
er that . when two men
BEN: ..what have a fight?
JIM: No, when they.
BEN: . rob a bank?
JIM:
No, when two men
BEN: .went to mow?
Storm
Theme: I'm grateful to one of my customers allowing me to adapt his sketch for use on this site. It attempts to uncover how the disciples must have felt when Jesus commanded Peter to walk on water, and how Peter might have felt about his failure, and more to the point, how the disciples (and God) might have felt about his failure. Ultimately, it is a sketch about everyone's failure, and everyone's choice to take a risk by walking on water when Jesus commands us. Success is not about not sinking - it's about taking the risk and getting out of the boat.
Staging: The disciple should dress in Biblical gear.
Storm
A disciple walks on to stage, looking over his shoulder.
Disciple:
Finally, some time to myself!
Don't get me wrong. I mean, I love being with the
guys. And Jesus of course. That guy is amazing.
It's not just the neat tricks he does. He's smart
too. He's sharper than a Roman soldier's toe
nails that one. If you'd been kicked by a soldier
as many times as I have, you'd know what I
mean.
But you know, when it comes down to it, I just
need space. Sometimes I just have to get away
and think about things. Cos some of the stuff
that's happening it's weird, you know.
The latest thing is Simon. He hasn't been himself
since well, in a way, he hasn't been himself
since Jesus gave him the name Peter. But that's
not the point. He hasn't been himself since the
'thing' at the lake.
We'd just done that meal for 5 thousand people,
and boy, was I glad I wasn't on washing up that
Ticket Office
Theme: Can you buy your way into heaven or is there some other way to get in? A useful sketch for introducing the idea that Jesus is the only sure way of 'getting a ticket' into heaven, and everything else we have to offer is worthless.
Staging:Set your ticket salesman up with a table and chair for his office and some kind of uniform. The other characters can dress in normal day wear.
Ticket office
Ticket officer stands at the desk of his ticket office. A man
comes towards him and stops.
OFFICER:
Good afternoon sir.
MAN:
Yes, Id like to buy a ticket to heaven please.
OFFICER:
Very good sir. Single or return?
MAN:
(about to choose, then realising) What?
OFFICER:
Single or return?
MAN:
Oh? Can I get a return?
OFFICER:
Course you cant sir. Just my little joke.
MAN:
Well dont be ridiculous.
OFFICER:
But then you cant get a single ticket either.
Virgins
Theme: Ten virgins went out looking for a bridegroom, but the ones who forgot to buy oil for their lamps were not prepared for his arrival and missed out. So goes the story of Jesus warning all of us to be prepared for his coming. This sketch retells the story from the viewpoint of the oil-seller, who is making his deliivery.
Staging: The oil seller can dress in greasy overalls, and needs to carry a sheet of paper. The policeman only needs a helmet and white shirt.
Virgins
A man wanders on stage looking a bit lost. He's map reading.
Enter a policeman.
COPPER:
Sorry mate, you can't park that donkey there. It's
a double yellow.
MAN:
I'm not parked, I'm lost.
COPPER:
Still a double yellow. It's a no parking zone is
that. And it's a no grazing zone as well.
MAN:
I'll move him in a minute.
COPPER:
Oh, and it's definitely a no.. urgh!
MAN:
I'm sorry. It's been a long journey.
COPPER:
That's a thirty dinarius fine that is.
MAN:
Thirty dinarius!
What is God?
Theme: Whatever picture we have of God (and the Bible presents us with many to choose from) they are all inadequate and liable to be moulded by our prejudices/opinions and feelings. This sketch is about the danger of making God in our own image and challenges us to realise that God is bigger than whatever view we currently hold.
Staging: Requires a character on stage and a clever voice over actor (or more than one) to play the part of God unseen.
What Is God?
There's room in this sketch for you to insert your own words
as you'll see. A man comes centre stage and starts to pray.
MAN:Lord, I want to know you better. I want to hear
your voice.
He waits. From off stage
FEMALE:
Hi John, sorry to keep you. I was just trying to
sort out well it doesn't matter. How are you?
