Cabby
Theme: From a Christian's perspective it's easy to characterise the persecutors of Jesus as being hopelessly misguided or worse. But that is to deny the social and political pressure of the time, and the extent to which their society (as with every other society since) is held in the grip of the power-brokers of the time. People with power don't want the status quo to be disrupted, as a local cab driver realises when he gives a lift to a member of the Sanhedrin.
Staging: Place two chairs centre stage. Characters should wear Bibilical dress. The cabby, can carry a whip to suggest he's driving horses.
Cabby
A cabby sits in a chair as if driving a horse and cart. A man, carrying many files, walks on to the stage and raises his arm.
MAN:
Taxi!
CABBY:
Whoa.
The man gets into a chair alongside the cabby, and they both bounce up and down as if the carriage is moving.
CABBY:
Where to sir?
MAN:
Bethlehem Road please.
CABBY:
Ooh, sorry sir, I cant go south of the river after midday sir.
MAN:
Why not?
CABBY:
Sorry sir. Part of the terms of my Jerusalem cab licence. No Gentiles, no Samaritans, no women,
Carpenter
Theme: Jesus died for the sins of every person who believes in him. This sketch tries to show that everyone of us has played our part in constructing and erecting the cross, and in nailing the hands of Jesus to it. But it's also a sketch about work, that questions whether it is possible for us as Christians to do certain jobs.
Staging: Equip your workman with some tools, some wood and a bench on which he can work. Biblical dress is possible but it might be better to dress in modern clothes.
Carpenter
A carpenter, in workmans clothes, is working at his bench, sawing, or hammering, or planing, according to what tools he has. We dont see what he is making. His boss comes in with a clip board.
BOSS:
Come on man. Arent you finished yet?
WORKER:
Im just doing the finishing touches.
BOSS:
We havent got all day you know.
WORKER:
Im a craftsman boss. You cant rush a craftsman.
BOSS:
Well Im a sadist, and you cant keep a sadist waiting.
WORKER:
No boss. Point taken.
BOSS:
Youve got another two of these to finish by this evening.
Cleopas
Theme: Jesus appeared to Cleopas and a mystery man after the resurrection. This sketch retells the story from Luke, with a reminder that the story is really about Jesus and not about the men to whom he appeared, just as my faith should never be about "me, me, me." no mater how vital I appear to be to the story.
Staging: Biblical dress is preferable for this sketch. It's written for two men and one woman, but could be played by one man (Cleopas) and two women.
Cleopas
A man and woman are on stage in Biblical dress, just chatting. Excited shouts from off precede the entry of Cleopas.
CLEOPAS:
Guys. Guys! Listen to this. Listen to this! Youll never guess whats happened.
WOMAN:
What? Whats happened?
CLEOPAS:
Youll never guess! Oh my God. Its amazing.
MAN:
Cleopas, Cleopas calm down.
CLEOPAS:
I cant calm down. Its too amazing. Guess what happened on the way to Emmaus.
MAN:
(disinterested) You got a stone in your shoe.
CLEOPAS:
Much more incredible.
Party
Theme: There are many different descriptions of God in the Bible, and if we focus too much on one, then we delude ourselves about the full character and nature of God. At a fancy dress party, many people dress as God but in surprising and different ways.
Staging: The more ridiculous you can make Sheila's chicken costume, the better. The same goes for Bob's pirate costume. A little background music will create a party atmosphere.
Party
Two characters come together centre stage, both with drinks in their hands. Sheila wears a chicken costume with rubber glove on her head to create a plume. Bob is dressed as a pirate.
SHEILA:
Hi. Great party isnt it?
BOB:
Isnt it? I love fancy dress.
SHEILA:
Me too.
BOB:
Do you know many people here?
SHEILA:
(Pointing at someone in the distance) The judge . and the paramedic.
BOB:
The paramedics costume is fantastic!
SHEILA:
No, he is a paramedic. Apparently Christines waters have broken.
BOB:
Oh! Which ones Christine?
Football
Theme: As Christians we are encouraged to confess our sins. In professional sport (and in business), we are encouraged to get away with as much as possible. This sketch deals with both ideas, explaining that there's more rejoicing in heaven over a sinner who repents, and also asking how we should deal with authority figures.
Staging: A little background noise of a cheering crowd or the theme tune to 'Match of the Day' (in the UK) will help set the mood. If your congregation doesn't watch football (soccer) then change the sporting references to a game they will understand.
Football
Archie in a football referees uniform runs around the stage as if following a football game in progress. At a moment of his choosing he blows his whistle to stop the game for an incident, and beckons a player over. A player in full kit emerges from the wings, arms outstretched.
PLAYER 1:
What?
REF:
Free kick.
PLAYER 1:
I never (bleep) touched him.
REF:
You caught his ankles.
PLAYER 1:
I got the (bleep) ball. I got the (bleep) ball.
REF:
Free kick.
PLAYER 1:
I (bleep) the (bleep) ball you (bleep).
REF:
Calm down.
Footwashing
Theme: Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. We tend not to recognise how significant a gesture that was, but if the top person in a blue-chip company did the same thing, it would really surprise us. This sketch is about service, and what it means to serve others. It is also about recognising the value of every person, and not dismissing the people at work who have the menial and unpleasant jobs.
Staging: The characters can be played by either gender, but the more posh you make Briggs, the better.
Footwashing
From opposite sides of the stage two very smart business people enter and greet. Jenkins is young and a little nervous, Briggs much older and very old school and pompous.
BRIGGS:
Ah Jenkins. Good of you to come for the interview.
JENKINS:
Not at all. I was very pleased to be shortlisted.
BRIGGS:
Ah well, as you know Briggs and Beckham is one of the most prestigious firms in the city, we always look for the best and brightest.
JENKINS:
Thank you very much.
BRIGGS:
Right, so lets get started. You get your shoes and socks off, and Ill get a bucket.
JENKINS:
(shocked) Im sorry?
BRIGGS:
Nothing to worry about, standard procedure. Quick wash of the feet and then were away.
Godwalking
Theme: People say that dogs often resemble their owners. But we are called to resemble God. The danger is, that we seek out the characteristics of God that agree with our way of thinking, so that rather than growing to resemble God, we end up shrinking God and turning Him into a comfortable little pet that starts to resemble us.
Staging: Dress your female characters in coats and hats so that it is obvious they are out for a walk in the country.
Godwalking
Janet is on stage looking out, as if she has lost something. Edna leads God onto the stage. They wear the most awful his and hers sweaters, thick glasses, matching trousers. They could be twins, but thats the kindest thing you can say about them. Edna leads, and God just follows, tagging on behind.
EDNA:
Janet. Hello dear. Isnt is a lovely day?
JANET:
Lovely.
EDNA:
Just out for a walk on your own dear?
JANET:
No. Ive got Jesus with me somewhere.
EDNA:
Jesus?
JANET:
Our rottweiller. You havent seen him have you?
EDNA:
I dont know. Whats he like?
Groupies
Theme: We live in a vacuous, celebrity obsessed culture, and sometimes we might wish that our preachers and teachers were afforded greater status and more exposure. But the last thing we want is for our clergy to be treated like pop-stars. This sketch is best used on a church entertainment evening, where the cast is prepared to play themselves.
Staging: Use a desk and chair to create the vicars office. The more dowdy looking you can make the two ladies, the better it will be.
Groupies
A vicar is in his office. Theres a knock and Gertie and Phyllis enter. They are both elderly, frumpy, and dowdy looking. They have no fashion sense whatsoever and look very strange.
VICAR:
Gertie, Phyllis, what can I do for you?
GERTIE:
Hello vicar.
PHYLLIS: .
Hello
GERTIE:
We was wondering werent we?
PHYLLIS:
Yes, we was.
GERTIE:
You was asking for people to volunteer for things in the church, and we was wondering if youd like us to be your groupies?
VICAR:
Groupies?
GERTIE:
Yes.
Restaurant
Theme: We accept that Jesus dies for the sins of everyone who repents. That is great news for me as a sinner. But how do we really feel about the fact that the same forgiveness will be given to someone whose sins we might imagine to be greater than our own? This sketch uses the tricky business of splitting a restaurant bill to show that the price Jesus has paid is the same for us all.
Staging: Set a table with a cloth and two chairs. The characters can dress casually.
Restaurant
Frank and Alice sit at a restaurant table. Frank, is a huge bloke (with cushions up his jumper if necessary!) and has a few empty plates and glasses at his elbow. Alices setting is empty. Frank is finishing off a piece of chocolate cake. Alice eats nothing.
FRANK:
Wow! This is one really nice Mississippi mud pie!
ALICE:
Yes?
FRANK:
Yea, you should have had some.
ALICE:
No Frank. Im on a diet.
FRANK:
Or a slice of that lemon cheesecake I had. That was nice too.
ALICE:
Honestly, a glass of water was all I wanted. I never eat a meal at lunchtime.
FRANK:
And the sponge pudding. That was gorgeous.
Sharing
Theme: How easy do we find it to share our faith? Do we take our chance to introduce Jesus to our friends or do we ignore the opportunities that are all around us because we fear what other people might say? Even if Jesus were right there in the room with us, would we introduce him?
Staging: This sketch is set in the church. You can try using the whole building. Why not have Gillian enter from the main door and come all the way down the aisle to greet Laura? Laura needs to dress in a way that shows she hasn't achieved financial success.
Sharing
A man and a woman sit facing each other, clearly very devoted to each other. Both are very casually dressed. In fact, shes very scruffy. He looks one way, she the other.
LAURA:
.Is that what really happened?
MAN:
Im telling you just as it was.
LAURA:
I do love chatting to you. Thats a brilliant story.
Gillian enters. She is very glamorous, but the same age as Laura. She looks a little bit lost.
MAN:
Its not a story. It happened. And then afterwards, there were twelve baskets left over.
LAURA:
(Spotting Gillian over the mans shoulder) Oh wow. Thats incredible.
MAN:
It was a miracle!
LAURA:
No, not you. Her.
Spotless
Theme: If we want to enter into the presence of God, we need to confess our sins. In this simple sketch, a man tries to pretend his shirt is spotless, and can't get entry to a club, whereas the man who apologises for his dirty shirt is allowed to come in.
Staging: This sketch relies on the right clothes to work best, but they are all easy to come by. Read the script and dress right!
Spotless
A big burly doorman stands at the door. A very smartly dressed gent comes towards him very confidently, but the doorman bars his path.
MAN:
(takes a card from his pocket) I do have an invitation.
DOOR:
Im sure you do sir.
MAN:
So. if youll let me pass?
DOOR:
That wont be possible sir Im afraid. Dress code of the house.
MAN:
What do you mean? Im wearing a jacket, tie and white shirt. Thats all it specifies.
DOOR:
We didnt think we needed to specify trousers sir.
MAN:
Exactly.
Thief
Theme: Jesus promised to come like a thief in the night, without any warning. Yet throughout history, false prophets still claim to know the date and time of the second coming. This is a gentle reminder that we cannot know the time that Jesus will come again, any more than we can expect a thief to make an appointment to rob our house.
Staging: No special staging is required.
Thief
Ashley, dressed very smartly, like a true slick salesman rings the doorbell. Bert comes to the door to answer.
ASHLEY:
(very cheerily) Good afternoon sir.
BERT:
(Cautiously) Afternoon.
ASHLEY:
Im just in the area sir, talking to a few of the homeowners
BERT:
Youre not a Jehovahs Witness are you?
ASHLEY:
No sir. Nothing like that sir. No, Im just in your area with a few colleagues, and
BERT:
Or some other kind of religious nutter.
ASHLEY:
Well, I am a bit of a nutter sir, but Im not a religious one.
BERT:
Oh? Good.
Wedding
Theme: There are several passages in the Bible that tell us to open our homes and our lives to everyone, especially the people that we are least inclined to invite. It is a real challenge to us all, as Jane finds out as she compiles the list for her wedding reception.
Staging: Sit Jane and Rick at a table.
Wedding
Jane and Rick sit at a table. They gaze longingly at each other. Jane leans forward and they kiss.
JANE:
I am glad youve agreed to a church wedding.
RICK:
Its what you wanted.
JANE:
Its not just the church. I want us to get married with Gods blessing you know. I want it to be right. I want us to do it in the way God wants us to do it.
RICK:
Yea?
JANE:
Yea.
RICK:
Well thats great. Me too.
JANE:
And it means we can have more guests to actually be there, and we can use the hall for the reception.
