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More about each sketch in Volume 2
Disciples Disciples
Thaddeus is on stage, looking ever so slightly worried. Joseph hurries on. To set the time of the style20, both could wear middle east head-dress and gowns.
JOSEPH: Alright Thaddeus? THADDEUS: Yea. JOSEPH: The missus wants to know if you can come to our place for dinner next Thursday? THADDEUS: Next Thursday? Im not sure. JOSEPH: No? THADDEUS: Id like to, but.. JOSEPH: Whats the problem? THADDEUS: Well, Im not being ungrateful or anything, but Jesus has just had me in with all the other disciples, and hes given us the authority to drive out evil spirits and to heal every disease and sickness. 
Fasting Theme: Jesus often answered questions with more questions. Thats fine for us now as we sit in our pews analyse the words over and over. But what was it like at the time? How easy was it for people to understand Jesuss teaching? A sketch to be used as part of a sermon illustration and a reminder that people have often struggled to understand what Jesus had to say. Staging: Biblical dress should be worn if possible. The two characters need only walk on and walk off together. Fasting
Daniel and Levi enter together in deep discussion. Both are dressed as Jewish disciples (they are actually disciples of John the Baptist).
DANIEL: Well, that was an eye-opener. LEVI: Was it? I didnt understand a word Jesus said. DANIEL: Well, no, I didnt understand a word but thats why it was an eye-opener. LEVI: Right. DANIEL: I must say I do prefer the way that John the Baptist will actually answer the question that you ask him, rather than answering the question that you didnt ask him. LEVI: Im not sure Jesus even answered the question we didnt ask him. He just asked a lot of other questions. DANIEL: Yea. I didnt like that. LEVI: Its not like it was even that difficult a question that we asked. DANIEL: Well, no it wasnt, was it?
Foundations Theme: A new take on the familiar story of two men who built houses, one on the rock and one on sand. Here, two professional looking builders offer to construct a mans house without foundations after convincing him theyre not necessary. This sketch can be used as a sermon illustration or just for entertainment. Staging: The house owner should come centre stage with a bucket and sponge and establish through mime that he is washing a car. The builders can then join him. They should indicate the house as being somewhere out in the middle of the congregation/audience. The first page can not be shown for copyright reasons.
Gardening Theme: God gave us a garden to tend for his service and our pleasure. Only when our heads were turned by sin did we find our work in the garden hard. This sketch takes the theme of the Adam and Eve story and strips it of the gender bias then updates it to be a parable for all of us about how we view our work and how our attitude creates contentment or dissatisfaction. This sketch is a useful sermon illustration on doing Gods work with pleasure. Staging: Adam should be in modern gardening clothes, using modern implements to dig his garden. The two salesmen should dress in sharp suits. Circling Adam will create the impression of confusion and bewilderment that the salesmen will use to their advantage in making the sale. The first page can not be shown for copyright reasons.
Noah Theme: Do you think Noah had an easy time of telling his family that he was going to build an ark? This sketch is ultimately about having the courage to listen to God and to do what he asks of us in the face of criticism and doubt from others. It uses Noah as an example, but can be used as a sermon illustration for any topic about trusting God. Staging: Try dressing Noahs wife as a dowdy housewife, and give her a pan and dishcloth to suggest shes working in the kitchen when Noah returns home. He should be dressed as if ready for a rain shower, and should present Mrs Noah with an umbrella as if he were giving her flowers. (see video on the website) Noah
Mrs Noah is in the kitchen. Noah comes home carrying an umbrella.
MRS NOAH: Hello Noah. Had a nice day at work? NOAH: Erm? (He makes as if to give her the umbrella) MRS NOAH: Thats nice dear. What is it? NOAH: Im going to call it an umbrella. MRS NOAH: What does it do? NOAH: Right, well you know when it rains? MRS NOAH: Rains? It never rains round here. NOAH: No, I know it doesnt normally rain, but. MRS NOAH: Its dry, dry, dry.
Samson Theme: This sketch is really about lust and trust in relationships, and could be used either to illustrate a sermon on the story of Samson, or as part of a marriage course. The sketch is true to the lustful theme of Samsons story, so there are mild sexual references. Staging: In the Bible Samson was a big man, so you need to find a big man to play the part of Samson. And Delilah was a temptress so that also places some restrictions on who can play the role. Samson
A man comes on stage wearing a long wig of hair, tied in seven braids. Hes followed by a beautiful woman, who is trying to seduce him.
DELILAH: Oh come on Samson.. tell me. SAMSON: No. DELILAH: Come on. Please. SAMSON: No. DELILAH: Ill cook you a nice dinner. SAMSON: Do you think Im stupid? DELILAH: (She clearly does) What makes you say that? SAMSON: Because when I told you that my strength could be taken away if I was tied by seven fresh thongs, the next day I woke up, and Id been tied by seven fresh thongs. DELILAH: Yea well. That was coincidence.
A Gift at Christmas Theme: God's gift to the world of a baby is the most surprising gift that any of us might receive. In this sketch, a couple literally receive a baby as a Christmas gift, and then pass it on to charity collectors who come to their door. Its a slightly surreal way of challenging an audience/congregation to receive Jesus at Christmas, and also to pass him on to others. Staging: Without constructing a set, you must find someway to establish the inside and outside of the couples house. Is there some permanent fixture at the front of the church that will serve as a front door/outside wall? The first page can not be shown for copyright reasons.
Father Christmas Theme: If Father Christmas got the sack, and was thrown out on the street at Christmas we'd all be shocked. So wy have we let the same thing happen to God? Staging: You'll need a father christmas costume. The first page can not be shown for copyright reasons.
Nativity Scene Theme: Every year we get Christmas cards illustrated with paintings of the Nativity scene. They all present an idealised picture of serenity, peace and calm. This sketch is an antidote that cosy, unrealistic picture as the first artist comes in to capture the scene and tries to deal with the chaos in the stable. Its a nice sermon illustration and a new way of telling the Christmas story. Staging: This sketch requires a competent solo performer. He needs to set his easel to the front of the stage and look out to the audience/congregation as if they are the nativity scene he is painting. He should get more irritated as more people join the scene. Nativity
An artist comes on stage with an easel and some paints.
Artist: Im sorry, Im sorry I came as quickly as I could. My, my, my, such traffic in the street. A donkey has jack-knifed on the main road, and theres a tail-back for blocks. Flipping Romans! This census has created chaos. So many people. So many people, coming and going.
He sets up his easel, and faces out to the congregation.
Artist: Now, anyway Im here. I went to the inn but he said you were out here. So, I can see the mother and the baby, but which one of you is the babys father?. None of you? Ok, ok, its not for me to judge. Which is the man shes living with? You sir, well move in a little bit closer. Dont be shy. Youre important as well. And who are these people? Are you the relatives?. Youre shepherds! Ok, ok, its more usual to have close relatives, but hey, Im just the artist. I just ask you to stand still and stop scratching. In fact, Id quite appreciate it if youd stop all bodily functions. Especially you sir. Ok, so lets talk about the composition. First question, do you want the cows in the picture or dont you?..
Shepherds Theme: A telling of the Christmas story from the shepherds perspective, demonstrating the simple humanity of the boy who would grow up to be the Good Shepherd, and the divinity of the boy whose coming was announced by the Heavenly Host. Staging: Dress the shepherds in Biblical clothing and if possible have them sit high up looking down on the congregation/audience as if they are half way up a hill. Shepherds
Three shepherds are sitting by a fire warming their hands.
Shepherd 1: (In a very matter of fact way, with a very rural accent) I had one of them angels of the Lord come visit me last night. Shepherd 2: Really? Shepherd 1: Yea. Not a sight you see every day. Shepherd 3: You sure it wasnt your missus? Shepherd 1: No, you couldnt mistake my missus for an angel of the Lord. Not even if you were really drunk. And I wasnt even a little bit. Shepherd 3: So what did he want with you? Shepherd 1: Well, I was watching my flock, cos there was nothing else on. Shepherd 3: TV no good?
The Little Baby Jesus Theme: Two actors auditioning for roles in the nativity play debate whether our saccharine, Christmas card view of the nativity is an accurate representation of the harsh way that Jesus was born into this world. This sketch should be used as challenge to the congregation to appreciate Christs suffering as a child as well as his suffering as a man. Staging: The actor playing the inn-keeper should sit rehearsing his lines, before the second actor enters, dressed in the worst cow costume you can create. Rather than buy a costume, try covering a white short with black patches, create some horns out of card board, and use a rubber glove as an udder! The Little Baby Jesus
Character A sits on stage with a cup of coffee, reading a script. Enter character B wearing a really poor costume representing a black and white cow.
CHARACTER A: Hi. CHARACTER B: Hi. (B sits alongside A) CHARACTER A: Here for the audition? CHARACTER B: Yea. CHARACTER A: What as? CHARACTER B: (Indignant) Im a cow. CHARACTER A: Are you? CHARACTER B: Yea. What about you? CHARACTER A: Innkeeper. CHARACTER B: Oh speaking part.
Wise Men Theme: The wise men go shopping in a sketch that explains the significance of gold, frankincense and myrrh, and why they were given as gifts to a baby. Staging: Use a table to create a counter in the shop, and dress the wise men in regal crowns and robes. Wise Men
A lady stands behind the counter of a shop. A bell rings, and three men enter. Magi 1 must be elderly, or at least appear so.
Magi 1: Oh hello. I wonder if you can help me. Were looking for suitable presents for a child. Lady: Your child? Magi 1: Sorry Im a little deaf. LADY: I said is it your child. Magi 1: At my age? Not likely. LADY: A friend? Magi 1: Not exactly. LADY: Grandson? Niece. Magi 1: Were not related. LADY: Well what sort of age?
Better Theme: Sometimes we are so obsessed with our own trivial issues that we fail to listen to others who may be having an even more difficult time. This sketch is a simple illustration of how we need to switch off the noises in our own head in order to hear what others have to say. Staging: Alice might be sitting as George enters. The main point is that they do not enter together. Better
Alice is on stage. George comes on wearing a hat and coat.
ALICE: Hi, how was the service? GEORGE: Ah.. It could have been better. Could have been worse. ALICE: Ok. GEORGE: Though its fair to say it could have been quite a lot better, and not much worse. ALICE: Right. GEORGE: Im not sure which is better. To go to a service expecting it might be better, and finding its worse, even though it still ends up being better than it might have been. ALICE: Right? GEORGE: Or, if its better to go expecting it to be worse, and it turns out better, even if its still worse than it ought to be. ALICE: George, your mum called.
Calling on God Theme: This sketch is about the frustration of unanswered prayer and also about our wrong expectations about how to use prayer. We sometimes treat prayer as if we can call a helpdesk for an immediate solution. This sketch shows what it would be like if God treated prayer in the same way, and could be used to illustrate any sermon on prayer. Staging: This sketch only requires an actor to come front of stage and to kneel. If the church has a PA system, use it to carry the voice of the receptionist. Calling on God
An actor comes on to stage and facing the audience gets to his knees to pray.
Actor: Lord, this is your servant Denis calling. Please Lord, hear my prayer. Voice: (from off stage an electronic voice) All of our operators are busy at the moment. Your prayer is important to us and will be answered shortly. Please hold. All of our operators are busy at the moment. Your prayer is important to us and will be answered shortly. Please hold. All of our . Actor: Oh not again. Voice: Your prayer is important to us and will be answered shortly. Please hold. Actor: Every time I time I try to pray you never seem to be there. I try in the morning, in the afternoon, at night. Some of us have got work to do you know! Voice: All of our operators are busy at the moment. Your prayer is Thank you for calling the Lord God Almighty.
Hear My Prayer Theme: A simple sketch about listening to God, and how we often dont! Can be used in any sermon on prayer, or at the start of a prayer group session. Staging: This sketch only requires an actor to come front of stage and to kneel. If the church has a PA system, use it to carry the voice of God. Hear my prayer
The actor (male or female) comes to face the audience, and assumes a prayerful pose.
Actor: Oh Lord, I come before you this evening, desperate to hear your voice, longing to know that you are close at hand and listening to my prayers. Lord, answer me this evening. I need to know you are near by, and that you care about my troubles. Voice: Be still my child, and know that.. Actor: (interrupting) Lord, speak to me now, in the silence of this room. Help me to hear you above the clamour of everyday worries and concerns. Voice: Right, are you ready now? Actor: Lord, I cry out to you, Voice: Yes and I cry out to you!
More Like Jesus Theme: Parents may want their children to be more like Jesus, but we sometimes forget that Jesus was a complex character, with humble (and dubious) beginnings, hated by some, and by no means appreciated by everyone during his time on earth (any more than he is appreciated now). A good sketch for discussing who Jesus really was and what he was like. Staging: This sketch is written as if for children but will be funnier if played by adults dressed as children. More Like Jesus
A group of children come rushing onto the stage. (The parts could be played by adults pretending to be children)
A: I love going to Sunday school. B: Me too. A: I love going home again. Its the bit in the middle I dont always get. B: Do you think Jesus went to Sunday school? A: Not really. B: Then why does our teacher keep telling us we should be more like Jesus! If he didnt even go to Sunday school. A: And he never had to help wash the car, and he didnt have piano lessons, and he didnt get homework. C: If were supposed to be like Jesus then we shouldnt have been born in a hospital either.
Music Group Theme: A sketch for a church in-house entertainments evening, exposing the little rivalries that we all bring to church. As the music group prepares to play, we hear what they really think about their pianist and about the congregation. Staging: The group will have to assemble around instruments, though they do not have to play anything. It will be better for church morale if your real music group members dont play the parts of themselves. Music Group
The music group comes on stage. Dave has a guitar. Pete has a bass guitar. Gerry goes over to the piano, and Sylvia goes to the microphone.
DAVE: Right everyone, before the congregation arrives, I think we should pray. Ok? Just a time of open prayer, where we can bring our worship to God, ask him to bless what were trying to do for Him this evening. SYLVIA: Yea, absolutely. DAVE: Great. (They all gather round and close their eyes) Lord, I bring this group of musicians before you this evening, and I just pray that you will bless our efforts in your name, and prevent Gerry from constantly hitting the wrong notes on the keyboard.
Gerry opens his eyes and looks shocked, but says nothing.
SYLVIA: Lord let our music be an inspiration to this congregation, and help Gerry to understand that this isnt a rock concert.
Secular evangelism Theme: A sketch about evangelism, encouraging Christians to share their faith with the same enthusiasm that non-Christians (and Christians) share their passion for other things in life. It could be used as part of a sermon illustration or as part of a church entertainment evening. Staging: I envisage this sketch set in an office. Arthur is sitting at his desk working. Bill comes in with a cup of coffee as if returning from the drinks machine. Secular Evangelism
Arthur is sitting at his desk in work clothes. Enter, Bill, whistling.
Arthur: Hi Bill. Sounds like someone had a great weekend? Bill: Brilliant. Saturday afternoon we went to the theme park with the kids. Arthur: Good? Bill: Brilliant. You just gotta go there. The killer thriller. Phoar! What a ride. Man, I thought I was going to lose all of my insides. You've got to do that. Get yourself down there and give it a try. Arthur: You think? Bill: Yeah. Scared me half to death. And they do great burgers as well. The triple whopper with cheese and fries. That is some burger. You've gotta try one. Arthur: Sounds nice! Bill: Ah man. Then, and then, when you've done the killer thriller, and had a triple whopper, you must go on the corkscrew spleen Buster. That is one magnificent ride.
Why Me? Theme: We always question God when things go wrong, but what about when things go well? This is a sketch to illustrate how we need a little more honesty to appreciate the things that we have, be they friends, partners, parents, possessions, jobs etc. It also shows we need more honesty to realise that bad things are also a part of life and not a punishment from God. Staging: The girls in this sketch could be in their office, in a corridor, sitting on a park bench. Stage it according to your own facilities. Why me?
Janice is sitting on stage, looking a little gloomy and perplexed. Sharon joins her.
Sharon: Hi Janice. Is everything ok? Janice: Youve heard about my job I suppose? Sharon: No. No I havent. Whats happened? Janice: Just when I thought everything was going ok. Sharon: Oh no. Janice: Id finally got the hang of it. Made some friends. Sharon: Have they laid you off? Janice: Ive been promoted. Sharon: (Not sure how to react) Oh! Janice: Why me Sharon? Why me?
Worship Song Theme: Another sketch for a church entertainments evening. We all have our favourite songs and hymns, and a few we dont like. This sketch is a reminder that every hymn and chorus has the potential to encourage someone in the congregation and we shouldnt dismiss the songs we dont like. Staging: This sketch only needs a chair and a guitar! Worship Song
Eric is sitting on a chair with a guitar and a notebook. Every now and then he plays a couple of chords. Hes clearly composing. Enter Helen.
HELEN: Hi Eric, hows it going? ERIC: (Excitedly) Yea, brilliant. (Brightly) Well, ok! .. (Seriously) Slowly.. Ive got the first two lines. HELEN: Can I hear them? ERIC: Not the music. Just the lines. HELEN: Thats fine. ERIC: Ok. You wont laugh. HELEN: No. I think its great what youre doing. We need some new worship songs. Not something everyone can write. ERIC: Well, I havent, yet. But I will. And Ive made a good start. (He picks up the book hes been writing in.) Right, ready? ..Right.. ok.. but you know its without the tune. The tune will make a difference you see? Right.ok
Bless the Rich Theme: A sketch about poverty, and inequality. Its envisaged as a discussion between two third world women who pity the rich who have everything and appreciate nothing. A good sketch for any service dealing with third world issues and your churchs commitment to poverty. Its also a good sketch for asking your congregation to assess whether it is indeed the meek who inherit the earth, and if their own riches are actually worth having. Staging: This is potentially a difficult sketch to stage because there is a danger of presenting a stereotype of the third world. Consider turning the characters into examples of first world poverty, dressing them in ragged clothing. Bless The Rich
Two female characters should look as poor as possible! Maria is on stage crying. Abi comes on to comfort her.
ABI: Martha, please dont cry. MARTHA: But Abi, Im so very, very sad. ABI: I know Martha. But today we will eat. I promise you we will eat. MARTHA: I am not sad for me. I am sad for all the rich people. ABI: You have so much compassion for others. MARTHA: But how do they survive? ABI: I dont know Martha. MARTHA: . We must pray for them. Pray for all the rich people. Pray that God will help them with their problems. Can you imagine how hard it must be to wake every morning, knowing that you must decide whether to have a bath or take a shower, and then, and then, you need to think what to have for breakfast. Yoghurt, or muesli or toast, or bacon.
Charity Theme: A sketch that challenges us to question our commitment to the charities and causes that we claim to support. Do we live our lives in a way that contradicts our faith and/or our charitable giving? It is a sketch that will sit best in a service on the subject of charitable giving. Staging: No special staging is required. Charity
Two women meet in the middle of the stage. One wears a very bright and thick wrist band.
SARAH: Hi Jennie. Nice wrist band. JENNIE: Thanks. Im showing my support for charity. SARAH: Oh right. Which one? JENNIE: I cant remember. SARAH: Oxfam? Save The Children? Society for the preservation of wrist band makers? JENNIE: (She reads the band) No, this ones for Stop the cruelty to kiddies. SARAH: Good cause. Good cause. JENNIE: I do a lot to support them. SARAH: Do you?
Heaven Theme: Although Jesus specifically asked us not to judge others, its something we do all the time, and at the worst extreme we might suppose we know the mind of God well enough to judge who would be allowed into Heaven, and who would be denied. In this sketch, a security guard claims this role for himself and tries to deny access to someone who fits the visual stereotype of a terrorist. A sketch that can be used to illustrate that we dont have the right to choose who enters heaven, and also a sketch that shows we should not judge people by appearances. Staging: The security guard should be dressed in uniform and the terrorist in garments that suggest a middle east origin. This is deliberate use of a stereotype to force the audience into immediate judgements which are ultimately challenged. Heaven
A rather officious man, in uniform, stands with a clipboard. A scruffy, (possibly bearded foreigner) approaches him, wearing a tea towel on his head. The scruffy man looks unsure about where hes going.
Official: Morning sir. How are you this morning? Scruffy: You trying to be funny? Official: No offence sir, but youre the one wearing a tea towel on your head. I think its you whos trying to be funny. Scruffy: This is my national head-dress.
Scruffy starts to walk past the official.
Official: Just a second there sir. Can I see your passport? Scruffy: Passport? No-one said anything about needing a passport. Official: No? Scruffy: Where in the Bible does it say you need a passport to get into heaven?
Magazine Theme: Our celebrity obsessed modern media is forever telling us how to live, dress, behave etc. This sketch challenges the audience/congregation to question whether the magazines we buy are helping them or hindering them. A good sketch for a secular audience too. Staging: A simple table, covered by a cloth, will serve as a counter for the shop keeper to serve at. Magazine
A young woman goes up to a shop counter, where the assistant is already standing.
ASSISTANT: Good morning Jennifer, how are you today? JENNIFER: Fine thanks. Is my magazine in? I cant see it anywhere on the shelf. ASSISTANT: Ill have a look.
Assistant looks under her desk, and will continue to look throughout, hardly paying attention to Jennifer.
ASSISTANT: Ill find it in a minute. Before I do though, I must say, your hair is looking lousy this morning. JENNIFER: Do you think so? ASSISTANT: Terrible style. Doesnt suit you a bit. Makes you look very old. JENNIFER: I did wonder. ASSISTANT: And that dress.
War Theme: Jesus asked us to love our enemies. What would happen if our world leaders really followed that idea and decided to love their enemies? In this sketch the President of the worlds biggest superpower gives it a try. Staging: The President should sit behind a desk. If you can construct a display board behind the desk with a military map on it, it will help to create the war-room image. War
President sits at his desk. An aide comes to talk to him.
AIDE: Mr President. I need to talk to you about our plans for the war. PRESIDENT: Sure Ed. Fire away. AIDE: At last! We get to fire at something. PRESIDENT: No, Ed, that wasnt an order. I just meant shoot, I mean, tell me what youre thinking. AIDE: Well, sir, I know youre supreme commander and everything, but I think your strategy is somewhat, erm, well, its somewhat. unorthodox PRESIDENT: Phew. For a moment I thought you were going to say it was crazy. AIDE: Well, unorthodox could be seen as a euphemism for crazy. PRESIDENT: Dont use words I dont understand Ed. AIDE: Very well sir. Your strategy is just plain crazy.
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