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More about each sketch in Volume 1
Adam Adam A man comes on stage, a little sheepishly. The part of God can be played by a voice off-stage, or an actor may come on to play the part.
ADAM: Hello God? Lord? Its me, Adam. GOD: Of course it is Adam. Who else could it be? ADAM: No. Sorry. Well in a way though thats my point. GOD: Go on. ADAM: Well Ive just been having a look round the Garden of Edam. GOD: Eden! ADAM: Sorry, yea, Im still getting used to the language. Sorry. GOD: Edam is a type of cheese. ADAM: Oh right....... Whats cheese? GOD: Thats another project Im working on. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Blind Mans Bluff Theme: We always think that the impact of Jesus's physical healing would be entirely positive, and this sketch tries to challenge this assumption but not to contradict it. But when we pray for healing, what is it that we pray for? What will be our reaction to being healed? Is God there to heal us in some medical magic trick, or are we asked to work for him whatever our health? Not one for the faint hearted but worth a go. Staging: Do not worry about Biblical dress, but do make sure your blind character has the props to go with his blindness, dark glasses, white stick. He can walk to the centre of the stage in character, and sit himself down before the second character enters. Blind Man's Bluff Jacob comes on stage wearing dark glasses and carrying a white stick, or a board saying I am blind, please help me. Enter Joshua looking a little gloomy. JACOB: Mister, mister, can you spare me a penny? Ive not eaten for days. JOSHUA: Sorry mate, Im skint. JACOB: Joshua? Is that you? JOSHUA: Jacob. Grief! I didnt recognise you with your sun-tan. JACOB: Have I got a sun-tan? JOSHUA: Its either that or dirt. Hard to tell. Lets have a look at you. (He closes his eyes and feels Jacobs face, as a blind man would). Youve put on a bit of weight havent you? Going well is it? JACOB: Mustnt grumble. Last couple of weeks, business has been pretty special. Takings are almost double. Not sure Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Bring it to God Theme: This sketch is meant to be an encouragement to those who think that their prayers or their lives are not valued by God. It is also a condemnation of those who use spoken prayer as a way to make themselves seem holier, or more in touch with God. Staging: The staging here is very simple. The three characters, who can be of any gender, should line up side by side, facing the audience/congregation. If sight-lines permit them to kneel then that will make it more obvious that they are at prayer, but it will be ok to stand. Standing will allow Christine to match her words with expansive, hollow gestures. Bring it to God Three actors come on stage and line up, kneeling side by side, facing the audience. ABIGAIL: Father God, forgive me for my sins. I have been angry with my kids when theyve done nothing wrong, Ive abused my colleagues at work, and Ive failed to support the friends that need me most, and I give too little to charity. BOB: Heavenly father, I bow before you right now full of guilt for the bad things Ive done. I beg your forgiveness for the way Ive hurt other people, most especially for the guy I stabbed outside the night-club, four weeks ago. Father, give me the courage to go to the police and own up to what Ive done. CHRISTINE: Lord, I really just want to come before you, Lord, and I pray Lord that you will really, just, forgive this man beside me. ABIGAIL: Father God, I pray for patience and tolerance to deal with the problems at work that make me so angry. Give me the strength to follow your example, and to love those who hurt me. Help me to treat everyone as my neighbour and my friend. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Feeding the 5000 Theme: Puts the familiar story into a modern sporting context. This sketch can be used to simply re-tell the old story in a new way, or perhaps to question how Jesus's activities would be covered by the modern media. Would it help or hinder Christians if Jesus were treated as a modern day sporting superstar? Staging: If you can rig up the commentators with microphones and headphones that will help. They could stand or sit to commentate, but they must act as if they are following the action. Why not dress them in the clothes of a familiar commentator from your TV network. UK residents would recognise John Motson's skeepskin coat for example. US residents are sure to have a baseball, NFL or basketball commentator they can mimic, and so on. Feeding 5000 Three men are seated on stage in middle east head-gear. Des sits alone to one side. John and Mark are on the other side, both wearing headphones. Des: Shalom et salvete ad noctem-ludorum. On tonights programme, we have coverage of the gladiating live from Rome, followed by coverage of the gladiators dead from Rome. After that, therell be a feature on Lenny the Lion, hoping to defend his World Heavyweight Christian Eating Title, against Festus, the heavyweight Christian who has yet to be eaten in seventeen professional dinners so far. But Im sorry to say that we dont have coverage of tonights Scottish Cup quarter final between Celtic and Partick Thistle, because football hasnt been invented yet. So in place of that, lets go over to John Motson and Mark Lawrenfilius on the banks of the sea of Galilee.
John:
Well yes indeed, thank you Des. Welcome to the sea of Galilee, where theres a huge crowd gathered here today, Id estimate at roundabout 5,000 people. And I dont think weve seen such a big crowd since John the Baptist prayed in Nazareth five years ago.
His Lordship Theme: The workers in the field parable is re-told from the worker's perspective. We understand the parable to be about God's grace in receiving those who repent late on, but do we really accept this idea for others as we do for ourselves? This sketch attempts to explore whether we truly accept that God will reward a death bed conversion to the same extent as he rewards the lifelong Christian. Staging: His Lordship needs to dress in clothing that distinguishes him from the worker. I envisage, cloth cap, tweed (Burberry) jacket, yellow cords, cravat, monocle etc. The worker should be in overalls, suitably soiled, with sleeves rolled up. His Lordship His Lordship, a very upper class old man is on stage. Enter a labourer from the fields. BARKER: Excuse me your Lordship, have you got a minute? LORD FINCH: Certainly Barker, what can I do for you? BARKER: Its about my wages my lord. LORD FINCH: Oh dear, and whats the problem? BARKER: Ive just been in to get my pay packet, from her ladyship, and er, its not right sir. LORD FINCH: Oh dear, really? BARKER: Yea, you see, when I work in the gardens, its normally six fifty an hour, for thirty five hours, which is two hundred and twenty seven pound fifty. But last week, I did thirty hours, at six pound fifty an hour, which I work out as one hundred and ninety five. LORD FINCH: Oh dear, what did we give you? Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Martha and James Theme: We know very little about the early years of Jesus, and how he was viewed by people around him. But parents have always compared their children against each other, so Martha and James do the same thing here. This is a gentle sketch, perhaps for use in a sermon about the character of Jesus, or with parents groups, which could act as a reminder not to put pressure on their children to be like Jesus or like any other child. It can also introduce non-Christians to a few Bible stories about Jesus in a non-threatening way, being a sketch that is more about the trials of parenthood and mother-father relationships, than it is about evangelising. Staging: It is not obvious from the words that this is set at the time of Jesus, so Biblical dress would be useful. Otherwise, use a narrator/preacher to set the scene, by referring to the year as 30AD. Martha and James Dad is on stage drinking a glass of water. Mum comes on trying her best to look seductive, in order to win him over. MARTHA: Darling, if youve got a few moments tonight, could you mend Jamess wooden horse. He was playing on it this afternoon, and he broke the leg. DAD: And how did he do it this time? MARTHA: Well, after lunch, he was pretending that he was being chased by hundreds of Roman soldiers, and it was only me really, but I made a lot of noise. But when I caught up with him and didnt arrest him in Latin, he threw a tantrum, and broke its leg. DAD: Oh did he? MARTHA: Now dont get angry. Its just a phase hes going through. DAD: I know. But hes twenty five years old Martha. MARTHA: I know, but. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Rich man Theme: Jesus said it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. This sketch tries to explain why, because, compared to the poor, the rich man's life is so much more lavish and comfortable. We imagine that heaven will be a glorious banquet, but here, we question whether one man's glorious banquet is another man's cheese sandwich. This sketch will be good for any sermon preached about heaven, and for any that deals with sharing the world's resources more evenly. Staging: Both characters will stand throughout, and will be dressed smartly. The rich man should be very smart and dripping with bling. To enhance the message that this sketch is staged in heaven a little heavenly music might help, a little dry ice if available, or you could put angel's wings on to the hotel worker. Rich man Manager in a smart suit carries some papers in a folder. Rich man in holiday clothes enters and approaches. RICH MAN: Ah. Are you the manager? MANAGER: Yes sir. RICH MAN: Good. Ive got a complaint about my room. MANAGER: Whats the problem? RICH MAN: According to my contract, I was supposed to have a room in Gods house prepared for me by Jesus. MANAGER: Yes. RICH MAN: Well he must have forgotten. MANAGER: I doubt it. Which room number is it sir? RICH MAN: (Checks his key tag) Nine billion, six hundred thousand and twenty nine. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Anorak Theme: This sketch was written for a youth group to perform as a way of introducing topics of sex and sexual morality. In our consumer age, sex has become a bit of a commodity, so the sketch uses shopping as a metaphor for sex, with a bit of a twist at the end. It is deliberately not coy, not sexually explicit and not judgemental, but the idea is to perform the sketch and then invite the actors and audience to unpick the ideas so that they decide for themselves what the message is, and what their own response to sex (and shopping) should be. Staging: The anorak referred to in the sketch must be worn by the girl. It will help if the vicar is seated at a desk to reinforce his/her authority, and the teenage parts must be played by teenagers. Anorak A vicar sits at his/her desk. Theres a knock on the door and Jason and Sarah enter. Jason and Sarah are in their early teens. Sarah wears a bright red anorak. VICAR: Hello you two. What can I do for you? JASON: Its Sarah vicar. I think Ive probably got her that is, shes. I think Ive got her .(He leans over to whisper) VICAR: No, sorry, I missed that. JASON: I think, Ive probably got her a new anorak. VICAR: Ah. JASON: I didnt mean to. VICAR: A new anorak. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. SARAH: Im dreading telling my parents. VICAR: Yes, you must be. Theyre both quite trendy arent they? JASON: Her dads gonna kill me. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Build Up Theme: TV builds up sporting events as if they are the most important thing in the world. This sketch is an antidote to that philosophy challenging congregations to question whether they really should miss church because of a cup final, and also challenging all of us to see how modern media tries to manipulate us at every turn. Staging: The set should match a TV studio setting as much as possible, comfy chairs, coffee table, interviewer on one side, two guests on the other. We have all seen how it looks on TV. Match it! Build Up A presenter sits with sharp suited Bob and Norman at a coffee table in the sports studio. Presenter: Good evening and welcome to the last session of tonights fascinating snooker final. With me in the studio is Bob Parsons who wasnt good enough to get past the first round, and Norman Ridge, whos been dating the producer. Gentlemen. Bob: Hello Jennifer. Norman: Hi. Presenter : So Norman, if I can turn to you first. What about tonight ? Norman: No, sorry, Im still seeing Vanessa. Presenter: I mean tonights game. Norman: Sure, yea. Well I think it has all the makings of being a really large pay packet for all of us. I think were looking for both players to come out, maybe half an hour later than planned, make the game span out for hours and hours, and then by eleven oclock well be into overtime. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Christians at Work Theme: A sketch about hypocrisy in the workplace, and how we must take our Christianity to work with us, and perhaps, refuse to do certain jobs if they conflict with our faith. Staging: Although set in Roman era, it will be quite easy to stage this with the teacher wearing track suit and trainers, and the little boy wearing shorts, shirt, tie and blazer. Do not worry about the cliché of this. It is a good shorthand. If you can set up a sign behind them indicating that they are at the Colisseum in Rome that will help, or play a recording of lions roaring, cheers of a crowd, and screams of the victims! Christians at work A Roman official comes on stage, with a clipboard. ROMAN: Alright you lot. Move along, come on, come on, get in line. Enter Flavius, in school uniform (with others if you have enough actors). He raises his hand meekly. FLAVIUS Er sir. ROMAN: What is it boy? FLAVIUS: I cant do games in the Colisseum today sir. Ive forgotten my kit. ROMAN: What? FLAVIUS: Ive forgotten my kit sir. ROMAN: You dont need any kit. FLAVIUS: And Ive got a verooca. Ive got a letter from my mum. (He passes over a letter.) ROMAN: (Reads) Dear Corporal, Flavius can not do being eaten by the lions today, because he has a verooca, love his mum. Did you forge this Flavius? Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Dating Agency Theme: Another sketch about unrealistic expectations, and why we should not view beauty as being only skin deep. This is a sketch that can be used with church singles/youth, again as an introduction to the issues of finding a partner and of how we view each other as (attractive) human beings. It is particularly directed at male perceptions of physical beauty. Contains some strong language. Staging: The male character is supposedly short, so it would be good to have him sitting down so that the female interviewer can stand over him and dominate him. If he can cower and otherwise look quite small that will help. Dating Agency Mr Gregson is sitting on a chair. Miss Phillips returns with a form. PHILLIPS: Well thank you for completing our dating agency application form Mr Gregson. Very revealing, and unfortunately, I dont think were going to find anyone on our books wholl be interested in seeing you. GREGSON: (Disappointed) Oh. PHILLIPS: Yes unfortunately, in just about every category your short-comings, and I use the word in its widest possible sense, are all too apparent. GREGSON: In what way? PHILLIPS: Well in the most obvious way, Mr Gregson. You are in fact, too short. GREGSON: Too short for what? PHILLIPS: Well for a woman Mr Gregson. You see regardless of her own height, and indeed anything she may otherwise claim, a woman is looking for a man who is tall. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Drugs Theme: This sketch takes the format of a TV documentary revealing how one character got involved in Christianity, but using the imagery of drug abuse to tell the story. It could be used as a way to introduce a youth group to a discussion about drug use, or as a reminder that Christianity is viewed with suspicion by many people. It might be used in a personal testimony service to break the ice, and also as an encouragement that no soul is lost, and little things can lead people slowly towards faith. Staging: All the characters may stand for this. If it is possible to highlight the speaker then do so, otherwise the cast can step forward when it is their turn to speak, and back when not needed. Drugs Reporter comes on stage carrying a microphone. REPORTER: Good evening. Tonight, on Panorama, we examine the case of John. John comes forward wearing a hoodie that covers his face. He holds a bottle. REPORTER: To protect his identity, weve changed Johns name. His real name is Derek Bridges. To look at John walking through the street, you might imagine he was the same as any other teenager, but John is different, he has a problem, because John is a Christian. John, thanks for agreeing to talk to us.. JOHN: Thats alright. REPORTER: I wonder if I might ask you to describe how you first got into religion? JOHN: I was about fifteen. I think it was over a period of days. It wasnt immediate. First of all, I just started watching a bit of Songs of Praise on tele. I never meant to watch it, I was just flicking over after Heartbeat. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Friends Theme: Is the Bible truly an instruction manual as some Christians appear to believe. And is it really much use in helping us to deal with difficult issues? Well in the hands of the wrong people it is not, and as Christians we must be careful how we use scripture, and must resist the temptation to quote pat references when what is really needed is compassion, a listening ear, and a Godly heart. Staging: The two characters can stand throughout. Bill should remain serene and unruffled whereas Sally should become more and more agitated. Friends Bill is on stage. Sally comes on looking troubled. SALLY: Bill, have you got a moment. BILL: Sure Sally. For you, any time. SALLY: Look, youre someone who seems to understand what God wants. BILL: I try to immerse myself in the word, if thats what you mean. SALLY: Well, thats what I thought. Its just that, Im just in a bit of a dilemma. My sisters going out with this guy and, well, hes just not right for her. I dont know what to do. BILL: Have you tried reading the Bible? Its full of good advice. SALLY: Well thats my problem, Ive never found the answer to anything in the Bible. BILL: Oh its there. Trust me, its there. Romans 15. 4. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Clothes Shopping Theme: Many people are tempted to mix and match Christianity with other faith ideas in order to create the religion to suit them. Whilst acknowledging that we are all at different places in our relationship/journey with God, we must take care not to be like the woman in this sketch who chooses her religious ideas in the same way as she might choose her outfits. Staging: The shopper should be dressed in an outfit that allows the shop attendant to fiddle with bits! Apart from that, a full length mirror will help to suggest the shop setting. The attendant could have a tape measure round her neck. Clothes Shopping ASSISTANT: Oh yes, now that is so you. WOMAN: Do you think so? ASSISTANT: Oh yes. Ive never seen a new religion fit someone so well. WOMAN: (Checking her bottom) Do you think my sin looks big in this? ASSISTANT: Oh no. No, no, no. No, I think it hides it pretty well.. by accentuating your good points. Your sin looks perfectly peachy. WOMAN: You dont think its a bit restricting? ASSISTANT: In what way? WOMAN: Well, you know, I like to go out with the girls on Friday night. Few Bacardi breezers, snog as many blokes as I can. It feels like I cant even dance in this. ASSISTANT: Well you can dance just not on the table. WOMAN: Right. Could we not let it out a bit? Not too far. I mean I like it, its just.. and the length. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Engagement ring Theme: Do we really care about third world trade and how our products are made? It is all very well buying a bit of fair trade chocolate to ease our conscience, but what about everything else we buy? This sketch is unapologetic for being brutal at times, but will be good for any service concerning our responsibilities to other countries in matters of trade/exploitation. Staging. The shop keeper needs to stand behind a table, but he can imply the presence of display cases. A few jewellery boxes will be necessary though so that he can show rings to the girl. The couple must act as if they are in love. Engagement ring A young couple enter a jewellery shop and pretend to look at the goods on offer. She is extremely excited, and will maintain her excitement throughout. ALISON: Oh darling, look at the beautiful rings. Oh my gosh, look at that one, and that one, oh, and that is GORGEOUS! Oh that one, that one! Please darling. BENJAMIN: Right. JEWELLER: Good afternoon. ALISON: I wanna see that one. JEWELLER: Certainly madam. A most excellent suggestion. For an engagement perhaps? So here we have a single diamond set in emeralds. Twenty four carat gold, three thousand pounds, and only seventeen slaves died in the diamond mine in order to retrieve it. ALISON: (A bit disappointed) Only seventeen? JEWELLER: (Equally disappointed) Only seventeen. We have more over here. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Kids Theme: It is easy for us to blame the third world for their own problems, especially when those problems manifest themselves as increased immigration, hunger and AIDS. This sketch is just a reminder that we are not better just because we are richer. This sketch could be used by a youth group as an introduction to third world problems and first world problems of teenage pregnancy. But it is also a sketch about how we are all sometimes guilty of failing to see our own faults and blaming others for our problems. Staging: No special staging is required. Kids Rick is on stage reading a newspaper. Dave comes on. Dave: Now then Rick, alright? Rick: (Fed up) Me and Susan have just got engaged actually. Dave: Really? You popped the question? Rick: Yeah. I said those four little words shes been waiting to hear, You're not are you? Dave: No! Rick: fraid so. Dave: Are you sure it's hers? Rick: You what? Dave: Nothing!. Gosh, you're getting married. How did it happen? Rick: Well. You know don't you? Back to the list of skits and sketches here. News Theme: Our 24hour news programming can make it seem like the world faces one crisis after another and that things have never been worse. This sketch is intended as an antidote to that fear, by poking fun at the way news reporting heightens the anxiety of viewers and listeners. Staging: The newsreader should sit at a desk to one side, so that the reporter can deliver her piece from some distance away. The reporter should have a microphone. News A reader sits at his desk. On the opposite side of the stage is Jennie Krantz, a reporter. READER: Good evening, here are tonights headlines. Sound effect: Bong! READER: New bong noise at start of headlines creates panic amongst viewers. Sound effect: Bong! READER: Prime minister denies accusations that he wore an offensive tie. Sound effect: Bong! READER: Wed all be killed by Martians if they existed say scientists. Sound effect: Bong! READER: And were not splitting up say the Queen and Prince Philip. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. O Little Town of Bethlehem Theme: Takes the words and metre of the original carol and catapults it into modern day Palestine. This is a thoughtful poem that can be used in any service that deals with middle east politics, or wants to put the Christmas story in the context of current events. After all, Palestine was an occupied territory when Jesus was born, just as many argue it is an occupied territory now. Staging: This poem requires a reader, perhaps even from the pulpit.
Oh Little Town of Bethlehem Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Real Prayers Theme: We are so familiar with the Lords Prayer that we can say it without thinking, and often without meaning it. Hence this amended version should persuade us to reconsider what the prayer is saying and how we might already be failing to live up to its expectations and the promises we make when we pray it. This sketch can be used in any service prior to the congregation saying the prayer for real. Staging: A character should come forward and pray to the congregation, but it must be clear that the congregation is not to join in! Real Prayers An actor comes to the front of the stage. Actor: Our father, who art in heaven, which means Im not really sure youre going to hear this anyway Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, and thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, unless thats going to make my life a bit too difficult, in which case I wonder if we might reach some sort of compromise, like your will Monday to Friday, and mine at the weekend? Or maybe I can have a couple of hours every evening? Give us this day our daily bread, which Im taking toBack to the list of skits and sketches here. Relationship Counselling Theme: A good sketch for church courses on marriage and relationships, as well as any service that deals with our relationship with and expectations of God. A woman visits a relationship counsellor with God, levelling the kind of criticism at God that she might level at her husband. People will recognise themselves in the couple, and ultimately will recognise how we sometimes demand things from God that are selfish and ridiculous. Staging: The counsellor needs to be able to sit one side of a table, and the couple opposite her. Be careful to position tables and chairs, so that all characters can face out to the audience. Relationship Counselling Man and woman sit nervously at desk. Enter a counsellor, with a file, who sits opposite. COUNSELLOR: Sorry to keep you. Its my first day. I got lost in the corridors. Well, welcome. Mr & Mrs? MAN: No, were not married. COUNSELLOR: Oh, ok. Cohabiting? MAN: Not exactly. COUNSELLOR: Right. Well, welcome, anyway, to Relationship Counselling. Is this your first time? WOMAN: It is for me yea. COUNSELLOR: And you sir? MAN: No, Ive done it a million times. COUNSELLOR: Right? Ok, well what we normally do, so we can get everything out in the open is I invite each of you Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Evangelist Theme: Just talking to people and listening to them, and offering practical help is always a better way to introduce them to Jesus than thrusting religion at them in the street. This is a great sketch for a church to encourage its congregation into quiet, practical, everyday evangelism and to remove the fear that evangelism requires some charismatic preacher and an ability to convert total strangers! Setting: The two characters can simply meet and talk at the front of the congregation. Evangelist An evangelist is on stage. Another walks towards him in a hurry. EVANGELIST: Brother. Can I ask you, do you know where youre heading? BLOKE: . Well, if youll let me pass, I was planning to go to Homebase. EVANGELIST: But do you know if youre going to Hell? BLOKE: Well, that depends on the queues. EVANGELIST: Oh sir, I fear you are going to Hell. BLOKE: This isnt some marketing gimmick dreamt up by B&Q is it? EVANGELIST: Sir, I must ask you. Do you know Jesus? Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Investigative Reporter Theme: A sketch about the dangers of trying to lead someone to faith simply by giving them a Bible. This will work best at a church weekend/church concert just as a piece of entertainment. Staging: The character Kenny should be young, spotty and quite dishevelled. I see him wearing a big coat and carrying a reporters notebook! Investigative Reporter A scruffy young man comes on stage, with a notepad and pen. Kenneth: Good evening. My name is Kenneth Lewis, and Im an investigative reporter for the (insert the name of your local newspaper), and this week Ive been investigating Jesus. Who is he? What is he? Where is he?Why is he? How is he? Is he? Right, well, I dont really know much about Jesus, so to start my investigation, I thought I know, Ill ask the vicar whose like the only professional Christian I know. Well, hes not like him, he is him. So, thats what I did, I went to see the vicar. So, I didnt go by car, because, a) he lives four doors away, and it wouldnt be environmentally friendly, and b) I havent got a car.. And c) I cant drive, and I didnt want to waste time, like having lessons, and trying Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Mealtimes Theme: Evangelism is best done over a meal. In fact, sharing food is a strong theme of the Bible. There is something deeply spiritual in sharing a meal, and that is true for the whole of humanity, not just Christians. This sketch simply illustrates how to serve up a tasty morsel of Christianity along with the main course! Staging: A table with a few pots and pans should be enough to set the scene in the couples kitchen. A little sampling of the food during the sketch would not go amiss. Mealtimes Jennifer is in the kitchen stirring a pot. Bill snuggles up behind her. BILL: Mmm. That smells nice. What are we having? JENNIFER: I thought wed start with something light. Maybe a few anecdotes. Nothing fancy, just a couple of nice memories tossed in a light sauce of fellowship. Or I wondered about a morsel of agape wrapped in a fresh leaf of sincerity. Or just toast and patter? BILL: They all sound good to me. JENNIFER: Well. I dont want to serve up anything too heavy. Not for starters. BILL: Well listen, anything will be better than what Tony gave us last Christmas. JENNIFER: Grief yea. That gossip was well past its sell by date. BILL: And those judgements. Tough, tough, tough.
JENNIFER:
Then the pudding.
Missionaries Theme: This is just a fun sketch for a church weekend or concert. It is not especially trying to say anything spiritual, it is just having a laugh at the problems faced by missionaries who are lost in the jungle. Staging: A few props are needed such as a table, chairs and diary. The leader needs cold weather gear, and Algy needs his swim suit. Missionaries Forster sits at a table writing his log book. He wears mountaineering gear for cold weather. Forster: Dear diary. Our team of missionaries arrived here 18 days ago on our mission to take the Gospel to the tribes of the Sherpas believed to live in the upper limits of the Himalayas. However, we have been unable to proceed further due to severe weather conditions and an acute fear of heights. It is also very slippy outside, and wed be fools to chance it. Morale is pretty low, so Ive called a meeting of Algy, Ginger and myself to discuss our situation. Algy and Ginger enter. Ginger is dressed for the beach. Forster: Ah. Algy, Ginger. Sit down. There are no chairs. Forster: So whats the situation? Algy: Pretty rough. Ginger: A few complaints. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. Salesman Theme: What do we want from our religion? Are we looking just for something for the weekend, or something to take us on a longer journey. Using car sales as a metaphor for our religious experience, this is a nice sketch for asking a congregation what their faith really means to them. Staging: No special staging is required. Salesman A sharp-suited salesman smiles charmingly as a timid lady approaches. SALESMAN: And a very good afternoon to you madam. What can I do you for? LADY: Im looking for a religion. SALESMAN: Course you are madam. Wouldnt be here if you werent would you? LADY: Only I dont really know what Im looking for. SALESMAN: No problem. No problem. Just for yourself is it? Little run around for the weekend, or are you looking for something with a bit more aarrrhhh? LADY: I dont mind. So long as its reliable. SALESMAN: Theyre all reliable madam. Ive tested all these religions personally, and theres a three month parts and labour warranty on everything we sell. LADY: Well thats good to know. SALESMAN: I wouldnt sell it unless I believed in it madam. Back to the list of skits and sketches here. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
